Helping to keep your partner involved in your pregnancy seems like something that would just happen naturally, but with mum carrying baby and having to deal with all the symptoms that pregnancy brings, it can be harder to keep your partner as involved.
There are plenty of books for dads and parents-to-be to read to prepare them for what to expect during mum's 9 months of pregnancy and for babies arrival, but there are plenty of other ways to help keep your partner involved in your pregnancy.
Everyone is always interested in mum and how for along you are, and it's important to remember that your partner is going through the excitement of having a baby too and will want to be involved within the process as much as they can. You’re a team and can be involved in the journey together.
Ways to keep your partner involved in your pregnancy and beyond
1) Announce your pregnancy together
There are so many exciting ways to announce your pregnancy, but instead of popping your own separate posts on social media or telling friends or family by yourself, why not do it together? A joint post, or making the time to visit those special to you to make the announcement is a great way for both parents to feel a part of this new journey.
2) Sync your diaries
Making sure you are both aware of all appointments, from doctors, midwives and even parenting classes, will mean no one accidentally double-books their time and you can both keep on top of all upcoming appointments.
3) Go to appointments together
Nothing will make having a baby more real than seeing the first scan or hearing your baby’s heartbeat for the first time. This is such an incredible experience for first-time parents and will allow you both to feel more connected with the health of the baby and the pregnancy as a whole.
4) Communicate
Talk about your expectations and concerns together before the birth. Ask your partner's parents as well as your own what their advice is for parenting, as this will give you a huge indication on how to merge your parenting styles to create a unique one for you both. Be honest with each other. This is going to be a huge first experience for both of you. It’s important to be honest and talk about concerns and expectations now, to be more prepared in the future.
5) Let them know when baby is kicking
It might be a while before your baby is big enough for you to feel the kicks from the outside of the bump but as soon as you can, let your partner know so they can feel your belly move too. It will be such a special moment for you both and will make your partner feel connected with your baby.
6) Let them know how you're feeling
It can be hard for your partner to know how you're feeling as they're not experiencing the pregnancy symptoms. This can probably make them feel guilty in not knowing how to help, but if you communicate what you are experiencing and how they can help when you feel sick, have cravings or support with movement, they'll no doubt do all they can to support you.
7) Make decorating decisions together
Involving your partner in decorating the nursery is such a creative way of making them feel connected with the baby. Shortlist decorating choices and let them help make the final decision.
8) Share baby record book responsibilities
Pregnancy journals are an incredible way of recording everything throughout and after your pregnancy and it's often the birth mum that fills them in. But if you do keep one, make sure you and your partner sit down and fill it all in together. You both might find out different things about each-others experiences and bond as a couple over your pregnancy.
9) Take a parenting class
There is no time like the present to learn about everything to expect when having a baby. The classes will teach you both about topics such as relationship skills, child health and safety, ways to help children learn and so many more valuable lessons. Go to these classes together. You are a team, remember!
10) Brainstorm baby names
You’re little one can’t be called, “Baby” or “Bump” forever. If you both make a list of baby names that you like and compare, you might just have the same name on the list. If you're struggling for names, baby name generators are a good place to get inspiration.
11) Consider a joint baby shower
There are no rules to say that baby showers are just for the mums-to-be. Both parents will be extremely excited about the upcoming birth of their baby so why not involve everyone in the celebration.
12) Write a birthing plan together
Think about what type of labour you want, what you both would like to have, what you want to avoid, who you want in the room with you. By talking about the birth and writing down your wishes, your birth partner will have a much clearer idea on how to support you during labour and can communicate with the midwives for you!
13) Encourage them to talk to the baby
Encourage your partner to talk or even sing to your tummy. Believe it or not but your baby can actually hear you from as early as 18 weeks and will be aware that you are both there. Talking or singing to your baby will bond you together as a family and make you all feel connected as one. Your baby might even react to your voice by kicking which will be an unforgettable experience.
14) Go on joint shopping trips
Consider your baby’s first toy and what outfit you want them to leave the hospital in. All of these choices are the things you will remember in years to come. Take a day trip out into town and have a look at all the baby things you could buy. This will leave you both feeling very excited and ready for the new chapter in your lives.
15) Go on a babymoon
A babymoon is a relaxing holiday taken by parents-to-be before your baby is born. This is an opportunity for you both to spend some time together as a couple before your baby is due to arrive. You can enjoy each other’s company and let yourselves become excited for the future of your growing family.
16) Don't hover
It can be hard as a new mum to let baby go sometimes, or to let anyone else help with baby especially if they do things differently to you. Avoid following your partner around when they have the baby or (unless it is dangerous), try not to correct them on what they're doing. The newborn stage is daunting for both parents and confidence only comes with practice!
17) Share feeds
If you're breastfeeding it might be trickier, unless you invest in a breast pump to create a supply, but where possible let your partner do the feeds! Whether it's during the night so you can get a little bit of sleep or in the day, they will love spending some one on one time feeding baby, and you can enjoy your hot drink for a change!
18) Both do baby classes
Whether it's baby sensory or swimming, don't forget to involve both parents! Either go together and enjoy spending some quality family time, or let your partner take baby out for a class. It'll be a great way for them to spend some one on one time doing something fun and for you to have a little bit of time for yourself.
19) Celebrate that you're parents!
With Father's Day coming up, while the dad to be will no doubt be excited for his first Father's Day when baby is here, he'll probably appreciate the thought of receiving a Father's Day gift from bump this year.
It doesn't have to be anything too extravagant or top your first Father's Day gift idea, but a little gift from bump will probably mean a lot to him!
You can also get thoughtful gifts for the mum to be too - don't forget whatever your route to parenthood, whether you're adopting or have a surrogate, celebrate that you're going to be parents!
Samantha Ball is a Product & Lifestyle Writer for Mother&Baby and freelanced for the website for two years before joining the team full time. She's a mum of two and loves browsing for the best products and cute outfits.