Lioness Demi Stokes opens up about her preemie baby, Harlen

Demi Stokes Katie and Harlen

by Lorna White |
Updated on

Not only did she wow the world this year in the Euros, but Man City footballer and England Lioness Demi Stokes has also become a mum this year to baby Harlen with her partner Katie.

In the past, Demi has spoken very openly about her and Katie's journey to motherhood and struggles with their IVF journey.

"For us it was a two-year process. You have your ups and downs when it doesn't work so it was quite frustrating."

The pair did their best to remain positive throughout the process, finding comfort in reading about other people's experiences and stories.

"Some people said it took them five years or in some cases 10 years. So, we deemed ourselves quite fortunate in that sense."

When they finally got pregnant, Katie found the pregnancy fine until those final weeks before Harlens' early arrival.

"She (Katie) actually really enjoyed being pregnant and the journey of that. Towards the end, she began to feel a bit wobbly so she went up to the hospital. They found she had severe preeclampsia, so it went from zero to 100 really quick."

It was then that Demi and Katie realised how serious the situation was. Very quickly, the couple was informed that Katie would have to go in for an emergency c-section as they were struggling to get Katie's blood pressure down and were worried it would start to affect her organs.

"It'd become quite serious and quite scary. I think I basically just put a poker face on because I didn't want her to see me crumble."

Demi couldn't have been more grateful to the brilliant staff at Tameside Hospital.

"They really took amazing care of Katie and Harlen so we were really lucky for that and so grateful."

Before the c-section, doctors warned Demi and Katie that if Harlen didn't cry, they would need to rush him off, so the wait for that cry was very tough for them. Thankfully, the c-section went well, but the wait for the cry was torture.

"I didn't actually get to see the birth because of the sheet in the delivery room, it didn't come down because of complications and they had to be really quick with what they were doing. But once I heard the cry, mum mode kicked in and I was on a high. I was able to give him his first hug which was really nice."

After the birth, it was a bit of a waiting game to make sure mum and baby were both okay. Katie had to stay in hospital for a week to recover from the complications of preeclampsia. Harlen was in neonatal for two days with jaundice and to help stabilise his breathing but luckily they both recovered really well.

It was obviously a very stressful and scary time for Demi, but she knew she had to stay strong for Katie and Harlen.

"I kept telling myself that I had to be brave for Katie because she was the one in the position. Panicking doesn't solve anything. So it was just trying to keep a clear mind so that I could make any decisions or help in any way that I could."

Those few days on the neonatal unit felt rather surreal for Demi, and looking after both Katie and Harlen was difficult.

"I think it feels like you're in a bubble. It just becomes your reality, and you almost don't think of anything else. It was hard because Katie, was obviously downstairs, Harlen was upstairs and we wanted to breastfeed as well. I had to get the milk from Katie, take it up and feed Harlan and you worry because they're so small and delicate. When they're in the incubator, there's very limited room for you to feed them. And then there are all the wires and even when you do get them on you, they're just so small. I was so scared at first to change his nappy and feed him his bottle."

Talking and being open about their fears and worries was very important to Katie and Demi and it helped get them through those difficult early days.

"I said to Katie to just make sure she communicated with me if she was struggling. It's just understanding that we're both on the same page, and it's okay to feel all these emotions."

Supporting families of preemie babies is a cause very close to Demi's heart, and she herself was a preemie baby.

Demi-harlen-katie

"It's so important for me to back this campaign because I was a preemie baby myself and my two brothers were also premature. Vinnie, my youngest brother, was only two pounds. It's something that's obviously very close to my heart. We've also lost premature babies too in my family, so when I heard about it, it was something that I really wanted to jump on and support and really raise awareness that actually it's quite severe and that with the right support, you can get through it. Back in the day, my mum didn't have that support, even down to not having any premature baby nappies. I think it's just about improving things and helping families with these tiny little babies and I think with the right premature baby care and support, they do come through the other side."

Now, Harlen is thriving, he's a healthy size and doing really well. He's starting to roll around and is beginning his weaning journey trying all sorts of new foods and flavours.

"People always say for a premature baby he's very alert and very well built, but that's just down to the help and the care that we got."

World Prematurity Day takes place on November, 17 every year and is a global movement to raise awareness of premature birth and the sometimes devastating impact it can have on families. Since 2017, Pampers has been raising awareness on prematurity whilst touching the lives of premature babies and their families.

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