As a sleep-deprived parent, it's easy to get frustrated when your baby seems to have an aversion to sleeping in the lovely cot you spent time picking out for them. But whether you've started (attempting!) to transition your baby from bedside crib to their own room, or they've suddenly decided they no longer want to sleep in their cot after previously doing so, you're not alone and it's a common issue many parents have experienced.
Why won’t my baby sleep in their cot?
All babies are different and as a result, their reasons for not wanting to sleep in their cot, crib or cot bed can differ too.
Most commonly, if your baby is used to falling in other places, such as in your or your partner's arms or a sling, the idea of falling asleep somewhere else can be unsettling.
"When it comes to getting a baby to sleep in their cot, it is about making it their consistent place of sleep," recommends child sleep consultant and founder of Babogue, Erica Hargaden. "As a baby develops out of the newborn phase, they become more aware of their surroundings and repetition in their day-to-day lives. These create routines and give babies a sense of what to expect."
How do I get my baby to sleep in their cot?
There are seven key things that Erica recommends parents look at in the overall context of their child's sleep:
1. Sleep environment - Make it safe, quiet, dark and consistent for sleep success. You want to ensure that your baby will be sleeping in a safe environment. Babies should be put to bed on a flat surface on their backs on with no loose bedding.
"It is important that this place of sleep is in a quiet and dark location of your home," recommends Erica. "The darkness will assist melatonin, the sleepy hormone, to do its best work, getting your little one to sleep and (hopefully!) stay asleep. This hormone needs darkness in order to do this."
2. Timings - Understand what sleeping pattern is appropriate for your child's age range to help you with the timings that you are offering sleep.
3. Napping - This is fundamentally important to sleep and a solid napping routine will help to return more settled sleep overnight.
4. Milk/solids balance - Understand that where a child is hitting their nutritional needs in the day, they are less likely to wake overnight to seek them where a need to feed overnight has passed. This in turn will return longer stretches of sleep overnight.
5. Bedtime routine - This does not need to be complicated for little ones to sleep well. It simply needs to be consistent simple stepping stones that are done with your child to help them understand that bedtime is coming.
6. Self-soothing - Where a little one is falling asleep themselves in their own sleep environment, they are more likely to sleep independently for longer stretches. Once little ones are developmentally ready, usually from around four months, you can start to work on this with them.
7. Consistency - This is key! Parents will have more sleep success with their little ones if they are offering consistent messages to them.
A few other things you may wish to try:
• Waiting till your child is drowsy in your arms before placing them gently into their cot, rather than letting them fall asleep and then trying to transfer them.
• Just like with swaddling when they were younger, many babies find comfort wearing a sleeping bag.
• Check the temperature of your baby's room. You should aim for a room temperature of 16-20⁰C.
Why is my child suddenly resisting sleeping in their cot?
If your baby has previously slept in their cot without much fuss, you might be scratching your head if they suddenly start to put up a fight.
"When families reach out to me about this, it is most likely that something in the child's routine needs to be tweaked," explains Erica. "Often resistance to their sleep environment can be a sign of under tiredness where they have been sleeping well previously. Perhaps their nap needs shortening or bedtime needs to be a tiny bit later. Small changes in routine can return previously settled sleepers back into their settled patterns."
Other potential reasons can include:
• Teething
• Illness