If you ask any parent what one of the trickiest parts of raising a little one is, chances are baby weaning will come up. From messy bibs to rejected peas, introducing solids is a journey that rarely looks like the books promised.
Even celeb mums like Dani Dyer admit it’s no walk in the park. In our recent chat, she told us,
“I found baby-led weaning really hard because you think they’re just going to instantly eat solid foods, but it’s definitely harder than I thought it would be.” And honestly? Most of us are just winging it.
But as mealtime battles become more common and snack culture dominates, especially with the rise of ultra-processed foods, we’re left wondering: How do we get our toddlers to the dinner table and actually keep them there?
According to a 2022 study, more than 60% of toddlers' diets are now made up of ultra-processed foods. That’s more than the average UK adult and even higher than kids in the US. It’s no surprise, then, that snack pouches, character-branded bars, and quick-fix rice cakes have become parenting lifelines. They’re fast, they’re easy, and honestly speaking, sometimes they’re the only way to get through the day.
But it begs the question: what are we feeding our toddlers, and how is it shaping their long-term health?
Thankfully, help is at hand. Leading paediatric dietitian Lucy Upton is here to guide us with her new book, The Ultimate Guide to Children’s Nutrition, packed with practical tips to help parents raise happy, healthy eaters without the guilt.
So, in a world full of snacks, is there still hope for a drama-free dinnertime? Let’s find out.
Why dinner time feels like a battlefield
You lovingly plate up a colourful, home-cooked meal. Maybe it’s pasta with hidden veg, maybe it’s smiley-faced pancakes with fruit. And yet, your toddler takes one look and hurls it on the floor. You’re not alone.
"The first thing to say is that it can be very common for children at this age to refuse or skip some meals – and normalising this is important," says Lucy.
"It often, and understandably, causes lots of parents concern as we all love the peace of mind that comes with a ‘full tummy’, however, children are great at regulating their appetite and many toddlers have often consumed what they need across the day (or previous) days meaning how much they eat at mealtimes can vary."
While the temptation is strong to panic or start bargaining with "just one more bite," Lucy encourages a softer, more structured approach.
Lucy’s tips for getting toddlers to the table and helping them stay
1. Keep a routine
"Try to have a regular routine of meals and snacks throughout the day. Children who graze on snacks throughout the day can often reach mealtimes and not be hungry."
This doesn’t mean rigid schedules, but consistency helps toddlers know what to expect.
2. Model good habits
"Eat with them as much as you can – show them, instead of telling them what to do."
Toddlers learn by imitation, so if they see you trying the broccoli, they’re more likely to give it a shot too.
3. Keep meals simple and familiar
"Having deconstructed simple meals, e.g. wraps, cooked chicken, vegetables and cheese – can be a great option for lots of toddlers." Think finger-friendly, low-pressure meals where they can build their own plate.
4. Ditch the pressure
"Whilst it’s tempting to ‘step in’, I often end up recommending the opposite to parents. Any language or behaviours around food that are perceived as pressure can often cause toddlers to eat less, not more."
So yes, “three more bites and you can have pudding” might backfire.
What’s going on in their little minds?
Toddlers aren't just tiny adults with stubborn taste buds. Their brains and bodies are going through big developmental changes that affect how they eat.
"Toddlers are developing a sense of self and pushing for control," says Lucy. "Around food, this might look like ‘no’ or ‘I want’, or repeated snack requests."
She suggests giving small, controlled choices: "We are having pasta for tea, shall we do peas or sweetcorn with it?"
And when they inevitably ask for another snack 20 minutes after lunch, "You’d like a snack? It’s playtime now, then we can have a snack."Acknowledging their request while holding the boundary is key. Food neophobia (aka fear of new foods) typically kicks in between 18–24 months. Lucy urges parents not to panic.
"Try to avoid pushing to ‘get’ your child to try something, and focus on continued exposure and modelling without expectation or pressure."
Ultra-processed snacks: harmless helper or food scandal?
It’s hard to escape the convenience of ready-made toddler snacks. They’re in every bag, car seat, and coat pocket. But should we be worried?
"Toddler snacks can be tempting for many reasons," says Lucy. "They often come in fun packages with characters kids love, and they can be easy and tasty for toddlers to eat." However, Lucy advises parents to use snack time as an opportunity for balance. "Offer a variety of foods to provide essential nutrients and help keep kids fuller longer," like oatcakes with hummus, banana with peanut butter, or yogurt with berries.
"It’s not about turning snacks into a battle," Lucy adds. "It’s about making them work for your child’s development." Variety in textures, flavours, and nutrients is important, even with convenient snacks.
Recent headlines about ultra-processed foods (UPFs) have sparked debates among parents, with some worrying about their impact on children's health. Lucy believes the conversation needs more "nuance." "Not all processed foods are ‘bad,’" she explains. "Foods like baked beans, hummus, or fortified cereals can provide benefits like iron, fiber, and protein."
Lucy encourages parents to focus on overall balance. "It’s what you offer most of the time that matters," she says. "Are whole foods and nutrient-rich processed options the main part of their meals?"
You don’t need to cut out all processed foods, just be mindful of which ones benefit your child’s health. For those reducing UPFs, Lucy suggests adding fresh fruit, plain yogurt, or 100% nut butters alongside familiar snacks.
Some UPFs, like processed meats and foods high in sugar, salt, or saturated fats, should be moderated. "But a balanced approach is possible," Lucy adds. "Food choices depend on time, budget, cooking confidence, and culture."
"Remember, no single food determines your child’s health. It’s the overall diet, habits, and lifestyle that matter most," she says.
Nutrients toddlers actually need and how to get them in
Lucy stresses that while all nutrients matter, some often get missed:
Iron
"Include iron-rich foods at 2–3 mealtimes a day. Meat, oily fish, eggs, baked beans, fortified cereals, nuts and seeds can all count."
Fibre
"Incorporate a fruit or vegetable into each meal and snack time, and include wholegrain cereals and legumes."
Omega-3 fats
"Include oily fish 1–2 times per week where you can. Sardines, fishcakes, or flaked fish through pasta can work well."
She also stresses the importance of fortified foods and keeping a simple food diary to spot what groups are being missed.
Healthy habits that actually stick
Long-term habits start early. Lucy encourages three core practices:
1. Honour appetite
"Kids have a natural ability to follow their appetite cues… some days that may be two mouthfuls, sometimes it will be two full helpings."
2. Keep food neutral
"Avoid using food as currency. Using cake to encourage eating broccoli only increases the desire for the cake."
3. Eat together
"Eating with your kids where you can has extensive benefits, not just for nutrition but social and emotional wellbeing too."
The real-life stuff: mess, gadgets, and food on the floor
We’ve all been there: food everywhere but the mouth.
Lucy says it’s normal. "Toddlers can throw food for a variety of reasons. Sometimes it’s a sign they’ve had enough, sometimes, it’s to initiate a reaction from you."
She suggests:
• Offering smaller portions
• Avoiding big reactions
• Using phrases like "food stays on the table" or "you can put food here if you don’t want it."
If food is being repeatedly thrown, "It looks like you’ve had enough, time to tidy up."
And when it comes to mealtime tools, Lucy’s go-tos are:
• Cutlery with ergonomic handles such as Doddl
• A seat with a footrest ("Try eating with your feet off the floor and see how long you last!")
• An air fryer for fast, fuss-free cooking
So will they ever eat dinner?
Yes, eventually. And no, you’re not doing it wrong.
"Meeting your toddler where they are developmentally can help so much when it comes to approaching mealtimes."
Lucy Upton, paediatric dietitian and feeding therapist
Whether it’s sardines in pasta or cutting back on snack pouches, progress is possible, even if it’s slow.
You’re not failing if your toddler throws the broccoli. Or skips dinner two nights in a row. With some structure, a little patience, and a whole lot of grace, we can help our toddlers grow into confident, curious eaters.
And if you need a little extra support, The Ultimate Guide to Children's Nutrition is out now for pre-order.
Dinner might still end in a floor sweep, but hey at least you’ll know you’re not in this alone.
About the expert
Lucy Upton is a UK Paediatric Dietitian and Nutritionist with over 15 years of experience across the NHS, private sector, public health, and industry. As director of The Children’s Dietitian Ltd, Lucy offers clinics, courses, and resources to empower families.
About the author
Anne Lora Scagliusi is a Senior Digital Writer at Mother & Baby. She is a Scotland-based journalist with over a decade of international writing experience, specialising in women’s health, maternal mental health, and wellness. Her work has been featured in Vanity Fair, Marie Claire, and Glamour and has appeared on several Vogue global editions. She is mum to a one-year-old bambino and lives between Italy and the UK.