Welcome to Spill the Milk, where we ask some of the UK's most famous mums and dads to reveal all about the wonderful world of parenting.
We caught up with BBC Radio 1 DJ and mum-of-one, Charlie Hedges, who shares some of the best advice her parents have given her, her new found body confidence since becoming a mum and why she won't allow herself to feel mum guilt.
Going back to work has opened up a big conversation I didn’t realise needed to be had
I honestly don't mind people asking me about my return to work because I think it's really nice to have a conversation about it. I feel like there have been so many parents off the back of this that have been like, ‘Do you know what, we went back this soon too.’ I don't even like saying ‘soon’ because I don't think it should be put like that. But it's just been really nice to chat to other parents about it. I feel like it's opened up a big conversation that I didn't realise needed to to be had. I’ve had such lovely positive feedback and it's just nice to speak to other parents to be honest.
I wasn’t aware of mum guilt before becoming a mum
I said this on my radio show on my first day back, I wasn't aware of this so called mum guilt thing but since becoming a parent and hearing people say it, I just said to myself that I wasn't going to let myself feel guilty. My mum always said to me, when you become a parent, you'll just have this weird gut instinct that you will know what is best for you and your family. And after my mum said that, that's all I keep in my head now. And that's what I'd say to other parents, that you know what is right for you and your family. And I think that is all that you need to listen to. That's all the advice you need to listen to. If you're happy, your baby's happy, then surely that's that's the priority as long as your child comes first, which as a parent, they always do, then I think we don't need to answer to anybody really.
I found out I was pregnant while recording live radio
I was really fortunate that there weren’t any complications. It was a very straightforward pregnancy. I haven't actually told anyone this story, but I found out I was pregnant at work before I was doing a show. I was in the toilet at work, and because I'd done a few tests, I kind of didn't look at it. I know that sounds silly, but I was just like, ‘oh, it might be a no again.’ And then when I picked it up and it was positive I just screamed and I called my partner and then I called my mum straightaway and then I went and recorded the show. Obviously I couldn't tell anyone. It was the most surreal surreal day, because I'm sitting there going oh my god, I've got the most amazing news to share. But I can't I can't tell anyone other than my partner and my mum. So yeah, it was lovely really, and the fact that I found out at work is just bizarre. In a good way.
I dealt with the chaos of having a newborn really well
Any parent will say that it is absolute chaos, in the best possible way. But I deal with chaos well. I'm just putting my daughter first and the rest is just fitting in nicely around that. We got very lucky and she's a good little girl. Loads of people ask me, ‘is it really different having a child?’ and I'm like, 100%, your whole life has completely changed, but I can't explain how much she's changed me in the best possible way. We've got an additional little person in our house, and she’s brought the most amount of joy in such a short space of time. The juggle is real, and it is a juggle, but as all parents will say, you just do it. It's just been the most wonderful time, it really has.
I’ve struggled with all the planning ahead you need to do as a parent
Time management has probably been the biggest challenge, because I've always been really good with managing time in terms of like work time to home time, and family time. But you have to be really ahead of the game in terms of planning ahead, and that has been probably the biggest challenge of making sure that everything can still carry on as it is.
I’m much more confident in my body since having my daughter
I honestly feel like this is gonna sound so silly, but I think before having my daughter, I would naturally be a little bit conscious of my body, which I think is something probably 99% of us have been at some point in our lives. But since having her, I honestly don't care. I feel so happy and so fortunate that little things that I would worry about before just don't matter anymore.
A good few weeks after having her, I was putting posts up on Instagram showing that it's normal to have a tummy after you've had a baby because, honestly, I've seen so many people say, ‘Oh, I bounced straight back’. And I think that's such a scary thing to say sometimes. I feel like you shouldn't have to be under that pressure of bouncing back to try and fit in your jeans that you were wearing before you had the baby.
You've made a child, like who cares that you can't wear those same pair of jeans anymore? It really shouldn't matter. I think it's so amazing to see so many women be so positive about other women. I'm really lucky because when I do these posts, it's just a load of women supporting women, which is brilliant. And that's how it should be. Whether you're wearing the same pair of jeans as before or you’ll never wear them again, I just don't think it matters. As long as you're happy and your baby's happy, nothing matters anymore. And I feel proud of myself for feeling like that.
Summer-Rose is a big fan of dance music
This is gonna sound like I'm lying, but I'm telling you the truth – so when I was pregnant and doing my dance anthems show on a Saturday, she could be quiet all day, no kicking around, nothing. The minute I turned that music up on a Saturday, she would be off kicking around moving around to the point sometimes where I did a few links on air and she kicked me mid link and I remember my dad, when I came off the show one day, asking if she kicked me during a link because he heard me go ouch because it was a painful one. She loves a bit of dance music and when I'm at home I've always got music on as well and I normally have it quite loud. She'll sleep through it too, so it obviously soothes her in a way too.
I learn my most important parenting lessons from my own parents
My parents have always showered me and my brother with love and now me loving Summer so much, the love is just, you just can't even describe it. My mum and dad are so proud of what me and my partner have done because she's such a happy little girl. Giving babies love is sometimes all you need to give them. That's the biggest advice that I've had from my parents, just to shower them with love. That's all they want. Obviously as well as being fed, changed and making sure they get plenty of sleep, but shower them with love and listen to them. Keeping things simple was a good bit of advice from my parents. I love to over-complicate things in life and before having her, I was such an overthinker, worrying about honestly so much stuff as well as little silly things that just didn't need to be worried about whereas now, I don't have time to worry about stuff. So keeping things simple is the best advice that they've given me.
Charlie’s top parenting product recommendations
I think the best thing that we bought was a changing mat on wheels. I know that's so random. Summer absolutely loves being up higher, I suppose because she can see more now she's able to look around a little bit more, but there's just something about being on the changing mat – she just absolutely loves it. And also, because it's on wheels, you can sort of wheel it about to different rooms. I got it off of Amazon.
This is like a curveball one, but two kettles – one for downstairs and one for upstairs for when you do the night feed. It's the most simple thing, but my mum said to me, ‘Why don't you take a kettle upstairs for when you do the night feed so you can stay upstairs with her and put her straight in bed after.’
Tons and tons and tons of wet wipes. The wet wipes are used for everything that you can imagine. We love the WaterWipes in particular.
I can’t wait for our first Christmas with Summer
This year, my family are coming to us on Christmas Day because Summer is so dinky. I'm buzzing because I've never had Christmas at our house. The one thing that I'm really looking forward to doing is putting the Christmas tree up. We've got a tradition in our family that we’ve all done since we were young that we all have to touch the angel at the top of the tree at the same time and all put it on together. So I can't wait to lift Summer up and put the angel on the top of the tree together.
We've got a photo every year of us all doing it. So it'd be nice to add her to that. One day she's going to be probably carrying me so I can reach the angel on the tree. But yeah, as it stands, we'll be lifting her.