Regarded by some as the 'medical Jamie Oliver’, you may know Rupy Aujla as the face behind The Doctor's Kitchen and recognise him from regular TV appearances. He's also a GP, nutritionist, podcast host, and a Sunday Times bestselling author. He’s recently added another string to his bow, taking on quite possibly his most important role yet as a father. Rupy and his Australian-Italian wife Rochelle welcomed a little baby boy, Raffael into the world late last year.
In front of the camera he may be used to working alongside the likes of Ainsley Harriott and Prue Leith, but he's also no stranger to working with children. As a doctor in emergency medicine, Rupy's seen his fair share of childhood illnesses and parental anxieties so, how's he faring at home? When we caught up with him recently, we talked about the joys and challenges of fatherhood, his upbringing and how he hopes to raise his son to embrace his mixed heritage.
Growing up in a Sikh Punjabi family
Born and raised in East London, Rupy grew up in a modern, forward-thinking Sikh Punjabi family where regular trips to the Gurdwara were part of his childhood. “I remember Langar (the community kitchen in the temple) where you have the food offering at the end of service. The smells, the traditions and the food, the franticness of cleaning dishes afterwards, celebrating things like Diwali, those are baked into my early memories.”
His mum worked as an investment banker during the week and his father was busy setting up his business, so it was the weekends when they spent time together as a family. He tells us how his mum, a confident home cook, would experiment with different cuisines, yet it's the simple, traditional Indian food that lingers in Rupy's memory and brings a smile to his face. “I remember early memories of parathas (soft, flaky Indian flatbread) on a Sunday – those were great."
It's obvious the food-loving physician’s perspective on fatherhood has been slightly shaped by his own experiences with his father and he openly talks about their relationship. “Me and my dad have a much better relationship now that I’m an adult, than when I was a child.” Rupy points out that his father grew up in an Indian schooling system that was quite strict and disciplined saying, "I always felt that frustration when I was a kid that 'so and so's kids are up to this and my friends are doing this, why can't I do that?' but actually, I think that kept me on the straight and narrow." The TV personality and nutritionist admits that there may be elements of restriction he may consider using in his upbringing of Raffael saying, “I think those foundational tools and experiences are necessary to thrive in what is, quite a chaotic world."
Food, fatherhood and sleepless nights
We move on to the topic of sleepless nights and how being a new parent comes with huge changes to his lifestyle. “I didn’t realise how selfish I was able to be, prior to becoming a dad. I could just walk out and go to the gym, or go for a coffee and go to work and not really think about it. We’re these annoying people who wake up early, go to the gym so the biggest disruption to our life, is the disruption to our morning routines and our sleep routines.” he laughs.
The 39-year-old goes on to describe the challenges of parenthood like putting together a puzzle with his wife. But surely as a medical doctor, he’s used to the long hours, huge workload and sleepless nights?
“I've done hundreds of night shifts, probably over a thousand, and I thought I'd be able to tolerate the sleep deprivation better than most. But the difference is, if I'm doing a set of nights, like five nights let's say, I know there's an end in sight. I know I can plan Saturday and Sunday to recover, and then I'll be back to work on Monday. It's not like that with kids. But honestly we’re just trying to apply a growth mindset, and appreciate each day as it comes.”
Given his passion for creating healthy balanced meals, we ask him if he’s excited about his five-month-old's upcoming weaning journey. “He’s developed early morning waking and I know the guidance is around 6 months, but there are some signs that he’s exhibiting, so we started with broccoli.” He recently interviewed leading baby and toddler nutritionist Charlotte Stirling Reed and M&B expert and tells us he's been following her book, How to Wean Your Baby to a T. “We’ll be introducing individual ingredients and then duplicating them and then adding a bit of meat product and fish products. I think for me, it’s really important that he gets enough of a diversity in his diet .”
Embracing his son's mixed heritage
Striking an equal balance of both his Punjabi heritage and his wife’s Italian heritage is something that the doctor feels very strongly about. After becoming disillusioned with the concept of religion when he was a teenager, Rupy now regards himself as being spiritual rather than a devout Sikh, and it’s obvious he and his wife have thought long and hard about how they want to raise their son.
“It’s actually one of the reasons we decided not to baptise our child, because it’s almost like we are getting him to join a community, when he doesn’t fully understand it. I actually want him to join whatever community he wants when he is old enough and make a considered choice as to whether that aligns with him or not.”
He goes on to say, “This is something I want to instil in him, and I want him to appreciate that he's going to be part British, part Indian, part Italian, part Australian, part European, part American. He's going to be so wealthy in terms of influences, and I think that's something I want him to celebrate and never feel like he doesn't belong."
Rupy and his wife have already started making conscious choices to ensure their son grows up with a wealthy abundance of culture from both their heritages. They recently moved to North London so they could be closer to his parents allowing Raffael to be closer to his Sikh heritage. “I want him to get to know his culture. I want him to get a rich idea of both sides. I want him to have that Sunday morning paratha.”
With language playing such a central role in both the Italian and Punjabi culture, Rupy envisions that by bringing him up as a bilingual baby, it will bind his son to his mixed heritage explaining, “His nonna and nonno will speak to him in Italian, and Rochelle is learning to speak fluently with the use of a coach. We want to get an Italian nanny so he can speak with her, and I want my parents to speak to him in Punjabi and Hindi.”
We can't help but admire both his and his wife's proactive approach to nurturing their son's cultural identity. As he envisions the scene for his son's future, what part will food play? “I want him to travel India with me so we can explore the different rich cuisines and he’s going to inherit nonna’s pasta-making machine,” he laughs.
amazonAbout the author
Keya Modessa, is our Senior Digital Writer and brings over a decade of experience from the digital realm to Mother&Baby. As a mother of two, Keya understands the joys and challenges of modern parenthood and uses her own experience, to give practical advice. Keya has worked across national publications including glossy women's mags, Food and Travel, and more recently as digital lead for Muddy Stilettos.