Motivational comedian and award-winning blogger Jess Jones - aka Instagram's The Fat Funny One, and of course one of our lovely Mumlisters 2020 – inspires us to love the skin we’re in with her content on Instagram, YouTube and on her super-informative blog. This mum of four is an advocate for plus-size mamas and has a refreshingly honest approach when sharing insight about her body. Jess helps us remember, there is strength in stretchmarks.
And now, Jess has released her very own book! Own It is for the generation of women that have been told time and again that you need to drastically change to ever have a hope of happiness. For the women who feel that confidence, success and joy are for 'other people'.
Jess believes that authentic confidence and self-love aren't farfetched but actually completely obtainable for everyone. Through Jess's relatable and heart-warming story, tailored advice and practical exercises, you can learn to wholeheartedly love yourself. We caught up with Jess to find out more about her debut novel, plus how to keep social media a positive space!
How would you summarise Own It?
I like to think of the book as a hug from your best mate. It’s a guide but done in a way that I hope is conversational and makes people feel like they are having their hand held on their confidence and self-love journey rather than given some instructions and sent on their way.
I wrote the book for the younger me! I have been on such a journey, and it’s been truly life changing, I want people to know it is possible, people who, like the younger me, thought joy and confidence were for other people because I didn’t deserve it and just simply didn’t know how to every live in a way that wasn’t full of insecurities and people pleasing. But there is a wonderful life beyond that and I want people to know it’s possible and how to do it.
What did you find most challenging thing about writing?
Juggling a full-time job, 3 kids (now four!), a dog, 2 cats and a husband! Haha some really practical things made it difficult, there were plenty of all nights I was working to get it done but on an emotional level, it was tough to share parts of my journey. Shame creeped up, discouragement and self-doubt were often unfriendly visitors (ironic considering what the book is about) but the importance of the message was too great not to keep pressing forward and have it completed.
Do you have a favourite quote or chapter?
This is like choosing your favourite child! Haha My favourite part of the book really is the guided tasks at the end of each chapter. This is where change will happen as its putting into action the steps it takes to truly create change.
What’s life like being a mum of four, and juggling career and life – how do you do it?
I am president of #TeamNoSleep. It’s a lot of organising, coffee and shouting get your shoes on. On a practical level I try and think of my future self, what can I do that will make life easier, set clothes and school bags the night before, meal prep, have spares of everything in the car and a good coffee machine. For myself though its equally as important to have a little community I can rant to, share woes, get encouraged by and having even just 10 minutes every morning and night to do my skin care routine and just be on my own to breathe.
What’s the best thing about being a mum?
Listening to your children laugh and watching them become the awesome humans they are! It is just incredible and often to surreal.
Many of our audience talk about losing their identity when they become a mum – did you experience this at all?
Totally, you almost even lose your name because people start to just refer to you as *insert child same here* Mum! I found that really difficult and often wanted to say ‘MY NAME IS JESS’. Having some time on my own even just a few minutes really makes a difference, I also really love being a working mum as I have so much of myself also tied up in work and that’s just about me!
What advice would you give to someone struggling with their postpartum body, or body confidence in general?
For those who are postpartum, it’s really appreciating just how much your body has done and just how incredible the miracle is that you have physically carried life in your body, changes are bound to happen and often focusing on the wonder that is pregnancy can make you be kinder to yourself. In general, for me it was wanting better for my children so in turn wanting better for myself. Leading my example was huge for me, I want my children to be happy and confident and showing them how to do it was so important for me so I had to go on a journey to really be the person I wanted them to see and be.
What do you wish someone had said to you when you became a mum?
Let go of all your expectations! It is difficult but that’s ok. Managing expectations, I think was something I wish I had known and done earlier so I didn’t put so much pressure on myself to know it all and do it right straight away because that’s impossible!
What do you think parents can do to have a healthier relationship with social media?
Follow accounts that make you feel good, uplifted and seen. If your agreeing with a post, nodding and feel like you can relate then it’s a nice space to be in. If you are finding your comparing yourself to someone or having negative thoughts about them or yourself then simple mute, unfollow and remove yourself from them. The beauty of social media is we control what we see – make it your happy place, you CAN do that.
Can you recommend any influencers or channels on social media that you find particularly positive?
SO SO MANY! Having a real diverse timeline is so integral when having social media so you don’t feel like your only seeing the same thing, I do so much learning from others and its great to see and know just how different parenting and life can be. You are not alone and when you see so many different things on your timeline it reminds you of that!
Some of my favourite accounts are:
Read more popular articles
What I’ve learned from my experience of Maternal Mental Health