It might seem like just yesterday that they were a tiny baby, but now, unbelievably your little one is going to start school. As parents, this big milestone can be stressful as you try to organise what they will need, but also deal with the emotions you will inevitably feel.
Of course, we love the privilege of watching our children grow and gain independence, and often, in those baby years, we eagerly anticipate the next development from rolling over, starting solids, learning to crawl, their first steps, to those precious first words, and now starting school. It can all feel like a bit of a blur and that is what makes it so hard to think clearly about what you need to do to help them prepare for the first day of school but that is where we can help.
There are practical things you can tick off your to do list, such as, getting their uniform ready, buying boys school shoes or girls school shoes getting a haircut, checking what they will need in terms of stationery, perhaps getting a school bag, completing enrolment forms or organising lunches for the first week if your child will be having school dinners (often the school sends a request form before the holidays). But how can you prepare emotionally for the first day of school?
Starting school is a big milestone and one which really does see the start of their independence. It might be the first time they spend five, full days away from you, and of course they will start to make friends and learn to get by (a little bit) on their own during the school day. Even the thought of it will make most parents weepy, so what can you do to make sure the first day goes as smoothly as possible?
Starting school preparation
Avoid any last minute panic by writing a list of everything you will nee to do before the big day, which might help to ease any nerves for you or your little one. Things to include are:
School shoe fitting
You can pick up school shoes in the supermarkets, and they will be perfect for running around the playground, however, if you want to get your child's feet measured then you might need to book an appointment. Some shoe shops get really busy and operate an appointment system for shoe fitting, and you can book appointments online which makes it so easy to arrive at the shop and avoid the long queues. Maybe plan this for the start or midway through the summer holidays, in case the shop needs to order a certain size.
Labels
No doubt the welcome information from the school advised you to label everything and we agree. When there are a pile of identical school jumpers on the playground at the end of playtime, it will be hard to identify which is your child's unless it is named. Plus, at some point we think it is likely you will need to make a visit to lost property to retrieve an article which has been left behind, including uniform, PE kit, lunch boxes and water bottle. When it comes to name labels you can simply write on the washing or size label with a permanent pen, but there are some great options available, such as stickers, sew-on name tags, or even ink stamps.
School forms
Your little one may have had a taster day in their new class and most likely they were sent home with a pile of forms for you to fill in, which will include consent forms for photography and school trips, medical information, parent and guardian information and also school dinner information or packed lunch details. It may also include information about pupil premium.
Travel
Make sure you know how your little one will get to school each day. Will you drop them every morning, or will you have someone helping? Also if you are driving consider where you will park (it can get busy around schools at drop off and pick up time) and make sure you know how long the journey will take. Whether you are walking to school or driving, it is always a good idea to do a test run.
Snacks and lunch boxes
Before the first day of school check that your fridge is stocked with healthy snacks and appropriate items for lunchboxes. Schools often have certain rules about what is acceptable for a lunch box, so check the guidelines and make sure you have everything you need. It might be that you don't need to provide a snack or packed lunch but check before the first day.
A starting school shopping list
You most likely have all the school uniform you need already hanging neatly, or folded in your little one's drawers but write a list of everything you need to buy and make sure nothing is missing, such as long or short socks (check the colour the school prefers), pinafores, skirts, trousers, shorts, polo shirts, or shirts, and school jumpers or cardigans. Perhaps make an inventory of everything you have and check if anything is missing.
Morning routine
Plan your school morning routine, from what time to wake up (for you and your little one) and what you need to do such as breakfast, making packed lunches, packing bags etc. It is a good idea to start a back to school sleep routine in the last week of the holidays so it's not a shock when you suddenly have to wake up before 7am on the first day of term, after a (hopefully) restful summer. Also, it might be that you can do things like make the packed lunch or pack bags the night before to ease pressure in the morning.
School calendar and times
Remind yourself of the school term dates, as well as the time the school day starts and ends. Also check what day they need their PE kit, and if they need to wear it into school that day, or if they will get changed at school.
Tips to get emotionally ready the first day of school
You have prepared, and the school bags are packed, the lunches are ready, forms are filled and everything's labelled. Tomorrow is the first day of school. You might have everything organised, but how to cope with all the mixed emotions of excitement, sadness and nerves for both you and your little one?
Prepare your child in advance
It is good to talk about school through the summer so it doesn't come as a shock in September. You can even take a few walks past the gates of the school and talk about how it will feel when they are open on the first day. Other great preparations are books about starting school, which are lovely to read together and talk about as you go. Also get your little one involved in the preparations. Maybe they can help you label their clothes, pick out their lunchbox, tick off the checklist with you (or give them their own little list to check), as well as helping to pack their bag the night before school starts.
Separation anxiety
It is normal for children to feel nervous on their first day of school, and part of those nerves could involve being apart from you. They may have been to nursery or preschool, but perhaps not for full days, and suddenly starting school, especially when wearing a uniform too can feel quite scary and that is okay. Separation anxiety is normal so listen to their worries and tell them you understand. Prepare yourself for possible tears on the first day, or even the night before, but reassure them that starting school is a good thing, that it's exciting and that you will be there to pick them up at the end of the day and hear all about their day.
Get excited
Talking about school, trying on uniform, choosing a school bag, or lunchbox, are all great ways to help your little one get excited for school. If you know other children, perhaps from their nursery or preschool, who are starting in the same class, perhaps organise some playdates for them and talk about school together. With lots of exciting activities and conversations about school, your little one will also start to feel happy and excited about their first day.
Emotional support
You might be spending a lot of time thinking about how to support your little one with first day nerves, or tears, but don't forget yourself. After all the preparation seeing them go through the school gates can be emotional. Whether it is your first, second, third or tenth baby, watching them take this big step towards independence and learning is tough and be kind to yourself. It is okay to get upset, and if your little one notices, be honest and say you are proud of them, don't hide it.
There are so many emotions on the first day of school from excitement, nerves, pride and sadness, and you might experience a little bit (or a lot) of each of them. Ensure you have something to keep you busy after drop off, or a friend or family member for emotional support once you have said goodbye. It is likely that other parents at the school drop off are feeling the same so perhaps organise a coffee, or walk together.
Ideas for the first day of school
First day of school photo
In the rush of the first morning don't forget to take a photo of your little one in their uniform and ready for their first day. It is a lovely thing to look back on as they move through the years.
A quick goodbye
We know it is hard but try to keep your goodbye brief at the school gates. Especially if your little one is upset, a prolonged goodbye will only make it harder. Listen to their worries (wipe any tears) and wave them goodbye with a kiss and a hug.
Speak to other parents
You might already know some of the parents from nursery or preschool or perhaps you have older children already in the school. However, try to say hello to the parents in your child's class. They are probably feeling the same and will appreciate a friendly face in the school playground.
First day at school board
For a real keepsake, there are some lovely first day at school boards to print or buy. They detail your child's age, the date, likes and dislikes, hopes for the future and in some you can add a picture of your child. Supermarkets also sell plastic or wooden versions, and you can also shop for them online for a lovely keepsake of your child's first day of school.
A treat for the end of the day
After their first day, your little one will likely be tired and perhaps overwhelmed, or excited. If you are collecting them from school, perhaps meet them with a nice after school snack or treat them to an ice cream, or (if they are not too tired) a trip to the park to celebrate their first day.
First day at school checklist
If you are unsure you have everything you need, take a look at our checklist below to ease your worries.
School uniform
•Polo shirts / shirts (approximately 5)
•Jumpers / cardigans (2 or 3)
•Skirts/pinafores (2 or 3)
•Trousers (2 or 3)
•Shorts (2 or 3)
•Socks (5 pairs)
•School shoes
PE kit
•Polo shirt (1 or 2)
•Shorts (1 or 2)
•Jogging bottoms (1 or 2 )
•Socks (2 or 3)
•Trainers
School essentials
•Name labels
•School bag
•Lunch box
•Pencil case with basic stationery such as pencil, ruler, rubber (although check the school guidelines because these are not always necessary)
•Light jacket / waterproof jacket
•Tissues
• Spare hairbands
What to say to your child on their first day of school?
At the start of the day, reassuring messages that they will have fun, or it's okay to be worried and they will be fine, are a great way to get over any nerves. Telling your child you are excited for them and proud of them is also helpful. Don't forget to listen to any concerns they might have.
When they come out of school, ask them simple questions, don't overload them. Specific questions are best, such as, what made you smile today? Who did you sit next to? What story did your teacher read? These are easier for your child to answer, rather than broad questions like, did you have a good day? If your little one doesn't want to talk about their first day, that is fine too, just enjoy the rest of the day together and get an early night in preparation for their next day at school.
Laura Healy is a Commercial Content Writer for Mother&Baby. She is a mum-of-two girls and loves writing about all things parenting, she is particularly interested in the toddler years and eco-friendly baby products, as well as children’s literature. She has a PhD in Creative Writing and has published short stories in the UK and Ireland, as well as previously writing freelance for her local paper.