"Are you not worried about what WhatsApp group she might end up in though?" a friend asked as I posted our ‘announcement’ video online. “Calm down,” I joked, “we’re not the Beckhams!”
As harmless as my response seemed, it got me thinking. We live in an age where every moment, every milestone, and every proud parent moment is shared online. I had already been so incredibly open and honest about my tricky conception journey and horrible pregnancy that it almost felt a disservice to my followers, to not show my daughter. Maybe that sounds silly. But how much is too much? Are we keeping our children safe online, or are we exposing our children to unnecessary risks for the sake of likes and views?
It has happened on more than one occasion, where I have posted a seemingly harmless TikTok and received a barrage of critiques commenting on my parenting style, what my child is wearing and the entitlement I hold by using my child as a ‘performing monkey’, to put it bluntly.
Parents today are battling a whole new level of online safety the unnerving amount of information that can be gleaned from a simple post. Birthdays, school routines, and after-school activities—all innocent details—can add up to a comprehensive picture of a child's life. Not to mention exposing ourselves to our parenting choices, to become a topic of conversation on gossipy mum groups.
Sure, sharing that adorable picture of your child in their school uniform might seem harmless, but do you know who’s looking at it? Not just friends and family, but potentially malicious strangers. In an era where AI can manipulate images to create disturbing content, the stakes are higher than ever.
Likes vs. Our children’s right to privacy
Some argue that posting pictures of our kids is a cry for attention. On the flip side, sharing family moments online keeps loved ones connected. I can relate to this having family up and around the entire country. However, the criticism is real—some see it as acting like a wannabe celebrity.
Do our kids want their childhood moments broadcast to the world? What seems cute now could be a source of embarrassment later. Imagine their future job interview when their potential boss pulls up that potty-training video you thought was hilarious. I recently visited a local sunbed shop and the girls working there (whom I had never met before) recognised my daughter immediately from social media, and very kindly said how much they loved our posts and how gorgeous she was! And I have to admit it got me thinking, as parents, we are already creating a digital footprint for our children.
On February 19, 2024, France enacted the Children's Image Rights Law to safeguard children's privacy and image rights. This legislation aims to mitigate the risks associated with parents or guardians sharing photos and videos of their children online and to prevent the dissemination of these images. The law's objectives include holding parents accountable for respecting their children's privacy rights, penalizing influencer parents who exploit their children's images for financial gain, protecting children who cannot voice their opposition to their images being shared, demonstrating that parents do not have absolute control over their children's images, and preventing parents from inadvertently contributing to child pornography.
How AI is increasing the dangers of posting your child online
In May 2017 Blake Lively, in her heartfelt speech at Variety’s Power of Women event, highlighted the horrors of child pornography. She revealed that because of high-speed internet, these crimes have escalated from images to videos, targeting even the youngest children. It’s a stark reminder that our children are at risk, and it’s often those closest to them who pose the greatest threat. Lively’s chilling statistics echo in my mind: "Over the course of their lifetime, 28% of U.S. youths ages 14 to 17 will have been sexually victimized." It's a sobering reality that underscores the need for vigilance.
Whether you’re posting for clout or connection, the internet is unforgiving. Even a well-meaning post can become fodder for unsavoury uses. I recently listened to an incredibly thought-provoking podcast by James English ‘Anything Goes’ where experts discussed how AI can transform innocent posts into explicit images. The thought is chilling. Our children, without their consent, could be part of something sinister without our knowledge.
An expert's take on the matter
To delve deeper into the issue of online exposure and its impacts, I spoke with Lauren Beech, a Registered Mental Health Nurse with an MA in Mental Health Nursing based in Maidstone, Kent. Lauren has extensive experience working with children and families who have had sensitive images exploited online. Lauren explains that children exposed to being the subject of indecent images can develop trust issues, attachment difficulties, and challenges in forming healthy relationships. These issues can manifest as PTSD symptoms, including flashbacks, hyper-vigilance, and poor self-esteem.
Lauren also shares her perspective on influencers and celebrities posting images of their children online. While it's natural to want to share proud moments, she stresses the importance of mindfulness. Parents should consider whether their child might object to certain images when they grow up, particularly those showing them in vulnerable situations, “Even seemingly innocent photos shared by parents, such as bath-time pictures, can be misused in disturbing ways by others.” By posting pictures of our children on social media, parents may unintentionally expose their children to potentially malicious strangers online.
The reality is that once a photo is posted online, it is nearly impossible to control its dispersal. Lauren explains; “Once a picture is out there on social media, we never truly know where that picture is going. Images can be saved, forwarded, and reposted without the original poster's knowledge. This makes it crucial for parents to think carefully about the long-term impacts of sharing their children's images on social media.
Mother knows best
Curious about the great debate of posting kid pics online and how to protect kids on social media, I turned to the wisest source I know—my Instagram followers. Two very supportive mums stepped up to share their views providing valuable and thought-provoking responses.
First, we have Chelsea, 38, from Sunningdale. She says, “My husband is more against it than I am! Collectively we worry about a picture of our child ending up in the wrong hands and ultimately taking the choice away from her on whether she wants her face for the world to see.” Chelsea's social media is set to private—friends and family know the drill, no sharing pics of her little one.
Then I got my detective hat on and polled 3,000 people (parents and non-parents alike). A strong 69% of them voted, "Yes, I have/would post my kids online" but 81% of those clever clogs keep their profiles private. Now, here's the catch: when asked if they knew that a perpetrator could be someone they know, 47% were clueless. This left me thinking, where do we draw the line between harmless sharing and helicopter parenting?
Sadie, 37, from Surrey, offered another perspective. She's a one-woman powerhouse, raising her daughter alone after losing her husband to cancer when their little one was just a baby, “I find posting on social media quick and easy to let friends and family know how well we are doing and what a fantastic life we have, even after all we’ve been through.” Sadie is cautious about what she posts and avoids sharing any identifying information about their location.
Now, here's where it gets interesting. Despite parents fiercely guarding their own kids' privacy, 71% had no issue with celebrities or influencers posting pics of their little ones. Celebs and influencers may have signed up for the spotlight, but their mini-me’s didn’t, so are they considering how to keep them safe online?
Navigating child online safety is a tightrope walk between sharing joyous moments and protecting our children. The digital world, with all its conveniences, has a dark side we can’t ignore and as parents, we must shield our children from this as best we can.
93% of people asked on my Instagram poll, agreed that the government is not doing enough to protect our children online. Perhaps the UK could take similar steps to France by intensifying efforts to crack down on the dark web and enhancing online safety filters. Or perhaps, the UK could impose stricter penalties on those found in possession of indecent images of children.
It’s the Wild West out there, and your little ones need you to be their superhero both in cyberspace and in real life. Next time you’re about to hit “post,” think twice. Your kid’s future self might just thank you.
Top tips for protecting your kids online
• Innocent photos may not be as innocent as you think. Be more vigilant of what style of photos you are sharing online.
• Private accounts may not be as private as you would like them to be. Any image can be shared or reposted into the wrong hands.
• NOT sharing photos of your child’s uniform or location is paramount to their safety.
• Use fun emojis to keep your child’s identity covered in photos you might want to post and never share identifiable images of your house
• Sharing images privately with friends and family is the best option for total security.
Holly Connolly is a female boss, mum to Cici, and the big sister you never knew you needed! She’s dishing out advice and hilarious anecdotes on social media, racking up over 15 million views. As the co-host of parenting podcast "Oh Baby!", Holly shares her wild ride through motherhood, marriage, business, and everyday chaos. Her mission? To help women laugh through the joys and challenges of parenthood and remind them they’re never alone in this crazy world.