Lucy Dartford, a 40-year-old PR agency owner from Shepherd's Bush, discusses raising her 6-year-old daughter, Zuri, who is of mixed race with roots in Guyana and Sierra Leone. Lucy emphasises open conversations about race and identity, immersing Zuri in diverse cultures through books, food, and experiences. She highlights challenges, such as subconscious racism and managing Zuri's curly hair. Lucy advocates for more educational resources in schools and encourages non-black mothers to ask questions and seek knowledge. She also shares her efforts to integrate black heritage into family traditions and travel plans, aiming to foster a strong sense of identity and pride in daughter Zuri's background.
On fostering open and honest conversations about race and identity with her daughter, Zuri, and recognising the significance of discussing these topics, while making sure she creates a safe space where Zuri feels comfortable expressing her thoughts and questions.
Lucy said: “I think I've tried to keep it as open as I can. It's a very interesting space to be, and as a white woman, I am fully aware that there is only so much that I can bring."
"Yes, I have an experience, and I am very aware, but I can only deliver what I can," adds Lucy "We tend to use books, education, and friends - where possible. I want her to learn more. So, I’ve really immersed her whole life around books, dollies - right from when she was little. She is very conscious of her culture, and who she is, and I have allowed her to explore that as well. I have always explained to her, and told her where her grandparents on her dad side come from, and also where her grandparents come from on her mums’ side. I do find it challenging because Zuri only met her paternal grandmother very briefly – the grandfather she has never met.”
Empowering identity
Lucy reflects on the empowering lessons her daughter has learned about self-love and identity, offering insight into the importance of cultural acceptance and family support in nurturing confidence. “Zuri is now at an age, where she is fully aware of her skin colour, and is very proud of who she is," says Lucy. "We have conversations about her brown skin, and my white skin, and will ask questions around Sierra Leone and Guyana and say, ‘mummy can we go there?’ I've actually been close to both places, but not to those countries. So, I try and sort of show her, for example, I used to go to Gambia often, and I would show her photos that kind of say, look, this is where Sierra Leone is positioned, etc. So, you know, I try my best to keep the conversation as open as possible."
After years of living in the quiet, neighbourhood of Chiswick, Lucy now calls Shepherd's Bush, London, where she now lives 'home', a vibrant area, rich with different cultures and ethnicities. She talks about how the shift has been a refreshing change, as the diverse community of Shepherd's Bush offers her a sense of belonging and openness, something that she didn't always experience in Chiswick.
Celebrating cultural differences
For Lucy, it's a place where cultural differences are celebrated, making her feel more connected to the world around her. “Moving to Shepherd's Bush, for me, was a place I love because it's a melting pot of all different ethnicities, all different cultures and people coming together," says Lucy. "Raising my daughter there is a really key part of her kind of engaging her black heritage. We'll go to the markets and immerse her with different types of foods, giving her the opportunity to really embrace that side. We've got an Eritrean restaurant and a Caribbean restaurant just on the bottom of our road, which does some stunning food. These are just on our doorstep, which I think is amazing, because she can have these experiences firsthand.”
Zuri loves books, especially books written by black authors. At a young age, Zuri developed a passion for stories that reflect her experiences and culture, finding joy in characters and narratives that mirror her own world. “I was taking a look at a few books that Zuri has got on her shelf. For example, like Little People Big Dreams, Black Trailblazers**,** Black Voices and All Are Welcome. as well,” adds Lucy.
Speaking to a child psychologist for support
Like many parents, Lucy once found herself in a moment of panic, unsure of how to navigate the complex conversation about race with her young daughter, Zuri. The weight of wanting to prepare Zuri for the world while celebrating her identity felt overwhelming. Unsure of where to start, Lucy turned to a child psychologist for guidance, seeking support to ensure she could approach the topic with care and understanding.
“At one stage, I started panicking, thinking I didn’t feel I could bring enough to Zuri, to help her with her black heritage."
"I turned to a child psychologist, who is mixed-race herself, and we would have conversations with her about, asking what can I do? How can I how can I help her? I really wanted Zuri to embrace every part of our belief, explore and ask questions," explains Lucy. "The psychologist gave me advice on some books as well to help me. So that was really helpful."
"How becoming a mother to a mixed-race child changed my view on race"
“I think it's definitely opened my eyes - in a good and a bad way. Unfortunately, there are still a lot of people who are subconscious to racism,' says Lucy. "I remember when I gave birth to Zuri, and photos were being sent out, and someone from the older generation said: ‘café au lait’, which means coffee with milk in French. I was completely shocked, shocked because they should have known better. But I was just a bit taken aback to have people say things like. My question is, was that appropriate. Then I had someone say ‘touch of the balsamic' and sadly it highlighted to me that there is this subconscious racist. It was very strange, you wouldn't turn around to a friend with a white baby and say, ‘Oh, wow, a vanilla baby’. These comments made me extra aware of things and that an increase in education, especially on race is needed."
Representing diversity through toys and play
Lucy is particularly cautious when it comes to the dolls she buys, ensuring that Zuri grows up seeing beauty and value in diverse representations of race. “I have a collection of Barbies from years ago, but they have just stayed in the cupboard at my mum’s house," explains Lucy. "So, I went to visit my mum the other day, and she brought them all out, and I just thought to myself, there are 100 Barbies here, but not one is mixed race or black. And I was like, 'what? Why is that?'
"I don’t want Zuri to think Barbie is only white with blonde hair. I feel like within society, there’s still a need for further education. Yes, it’s great to see things coming along, but I think there's definitely areas that need work.”
Having a mixed-race daughter has profoundly impacted the way Lucy navigates conversations about race and identity with her friends and family. While these topics may not have been at the forefront before, Lucy now approaches them with greater intention and openness. She finds herself more aware of the need to address racial issues and cultural sensitivity, ensuring that Zuri grows up in an environment that embraces her full identity. “My parents are both white and although they have basic knowledge on black history, they are always keen to learn," says Lucy. "I try and immerse them in a sort of educational process with books, especially if Zuri is staying with them. They are learning more themselves, and I am very thankful to have lots of different friends from lots of different ethnicities and backgrounds. It’s nice to be able to have wider conversations with them, around that topic, race, and in numerous formats."
From a young age, Lucy’s daughter, Zuri, had experienced curious classmates reaching out to touch her hair, an experience familiar to many children of colour. For Lucy, these moments highlight the importance of teaching Zuri to embrace and love her natural hair, helping her understand that it’s something to be proud of, not an object of fascination.
By fostering a sense of pride in Zuri’s unique beauty, Lucy is equipping her daughter to navigate these situations with confidence and self-love. “Kids will come up to Zuri and go, ‘Oh, can I squeeze your candy floss hair?’ and, and as they are touching it, they'll go ‘beep, beep’. My daughter has gorgeous hair and that is another conversation that I have had with her. I want her to know just how beautiful her hair is and how blessed she is. I don’t want her to think that straight hair doesn't equal beautiful. She's a real big fan of her hair."
Lucy goes on to explain about how she has also learned about helping Zuri take care of her hair. "I am also learning about how to manage and treat her hair," explains Lucy. "We've got some amazing shops that we can go into that specifically cater to her hair type. It helps me, as I can stand there and learn as well."
Lucy is a strong advocate for increasing education and awareness about diverse cultures and histories in schools. She believes that teaching children about different backgrounds from an early age fosters understanding, empathy, and respect. “Read the room. The classroom should be 50/50 of white children, Chinese, black and other ethnicities. I think it's so important to look at different histories, not just one, and I would love to see more stories around Black History Month in more schools around the UK."
Lucy’s daughter, Zuri, is growing up with a deep admiration for Black role models who inspire her to embrace her identity with pride. From influential authors to trailblazing athletes and activists, these figures represent resilience, achievement, and cultural pride. With Lucy’s guidance, Zuri finds strength in seeing people who look like her excel and make a difference. “Zuri is obsessed with Simone Biles, and is always saying ‘mummy, I want to be just like her’, that is her number one role model right now," explains Lucy. "Simone highlights the need for more diverse representation in media and education. Just the other day, Zuri was watching a cartoon, and she came up to me and she said, 'this one looks just like me'. I love when she connects to like a protagonist or someone in a book that is Black, or mixed race like. Another one of her favourite is Annie the movie, she really connects with that. So that makes me happy.”
Lucy encourages other mothers, especially those raising mixed-race children, to actively seek education and ask questions about their children’s Black heritage. She believes that understanding and embracing their cultural roots is essential for nurturing a strong sense of identity and self-worth. “Don't hold back on asking questions and furthering your own education," says Lucy. "Don't be shy and don't shut yourself out, because one day your kids will want to know their roots – it starts with their identity and who they are. I will never withdraw away from asking questions, even if it doesn’t make sense."
Culinary traditions
Beyond being an amazing mum, running her own PR agency and staying fit, Lucy passionately embraces and integrates diverse Black cultural foods and traditions into her family's daily life. She believes that food can be a celebration of heritage and community. By introducing her daughter, Zuri, to a variety of culinary traditions, Lucy fosters a deeper connection to Zuri's roots, teaching her the importance of cultural appreciation through the flavours and stories behind each dish. “I love cooking, it's like my sort of therapy. We have a good shot at chicken, and just the other day we made Jollof rice, a Nigerian dish. These are dishes I bring to the family and I am very keen to learn.”
Lucy is excited to share her plans to travel with Zuri aiming to immerse her in the rich cultures and traditions of her heritage. Lucy believes that experiencing these environments firsthand is essential for Zuri’s growth and understanding of her identity. By exploring the vibrant history, customs, and communities of Sierra Leone, Lucy hopes to instil a sense of pride and connection in Zuri, helping her appreciate the beauty of her roots. “I am keen for Zuri to travel a bit more with me," says Lucy. "We’ve been to Cape Verde, but one day, I’ll like to take her to Sierra Leone - when she's a little bit older. I want her to appreciate and see more of her culture. That is very much on my agenda for the future."
You can follow Lucy on Instagram here: @we_are_lucyor https://www.wearelucy.co.uk
Mummy to a little girl, Adejumoke Ilori is Commercial Content Writer for Mother&Baby. With a BA hon in Creative Writing, she has worked for digital platforms, where she has empowered women from the inside and out, by sharing real life stories based on relationships, loving yourself and mummyhood.