It may take you months to feel ready to try to conceive (TTC) again after going through the trauma of a miscarriage. Or for you, getting back to it straightaway might be what feels most right. Whatever you’re path, make sure you’re mentally and physically ready to try for a baby again after having a miscarriage.
Every mum is different and there’s a chance you may feel you don’t want to put yourself through the risk of a pregnancy again. Remember this is okay - while this is likely to be a temporary feeling, don’t put pressure on yourself to want to try as soon as you can.
Time is the best healer so shift your focus on other things that you love, and see how you feel a little bit further down the line. You know your body is capable of being pregnant, so there’s no rush.
Signs you’re ready to TTC again
While your body might be ready to start trying for a baby again, you might not feel ready to take that step emotionally.
Be kind to yourself, look out for signs you may be feeling more positive about trying.
‘A good indication is when you can start looking at baby clothes again or buy a birth congratulations card and there are no “what if” feelings,’ says fertility specialist and therapist Susie Gower. ‘It shows you’re feeling more positive about miscarrying.’
Other signs to look out for are not having to think twice before meeting pregnant friends or friends with children. Or you might simply wake up one day and feel ready.
Some good questions to ask yourself before TTC include:
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How much time have you given yourself to grieve your loss? Do you feel like this is enough?
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Do you feel you want another baby or do you still yearn for the baby you lost?
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How often do you think about your lost baby? Are these thoughts constantly with you?
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How well are you sleeping?
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How much do you still get upset and cry about your loss?
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Is your appetite back to normal?
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Are you back into your regular routine?
It's also important to consider whether or not you feel strong enough to cope with the idea of a negative pregnancy test or another misscarriage. You might also want to talk this over with your partner too as the loss may still be affecting them.
Sex after miscarriage
Following a miscarriage, the lining of the womb may be quite tender and there is a chance of infection, so it’s best to wait a few days and give yourself time to heal before having sex again.
However, you don’t need to wait too long. ‘There’s no harm in trying again following your first normal period,’ says Dr Geetha Venkat, director of Harley Street Fertility Clinic. ‘Once you have begun ovulating, your body is back to normal physically and it is safe to resume trying.’
It’s hard to know when exactly to expect your next period, but your menstrual cycle should return to normal four to six weeks after a miscarriage.