If you’re here because you think you might be struggling with a perinatal mental health problem, take a deep breath — you’re not alone.
People talk about the glow and the joy, but not the tears that come out of nowhere, the heavy mental load, the physical recovery, or the flashes of mum rage that leave you wondering if you’re the only one feeling this way. You’re not.
In fact, one in five women experience a perinatal mental health problem, whether it’s anxiety, depression, or just a persistent sense that something isn’t quite right. And partners can be affected too, it’s a huge transition for everyone.
Feeling this way doesn’t mean you’re failing. It means you’re going through something real. And you deserve support.
We spoke to leading experts to break down what perinatal mental health really is, how to spot the signs, and most importantly, how to get help.
What is perinatal mental health?
The term “perinatal” refers to the time frame starting from pregnancy and extending up to a year after childbirth. It’s the period in which a new mum or parent experiences significant emotional and physical changes. And during this time, mental health can take a hit.
Megan Smith, NHS Midwife and Antenatal Course Leader at Pregnancy to Parenthood, says, “a perinatal mental health ‘problem’ is one that you experience within this timeframe. This may be a new mental health problem or an episode of a problem you’ve experienced in the past.”
What are common perinatal mental health problems?
It’s easy to get overwhelmed with everything going on, but it’s important to understand what to look for. Some of the most common mental health struggles during the perinatal period include:
1. Depression
Prenatal and postpartum depression is persistent feelings of sadness, hopelessness, and loss of interest in activities that used to bring joy. You might feel disconnected from your baby or from the world around you.
2. Anxiety
Perinatal anxiety includes feelings of excessive worry, restlessness, and physical symptoms like tension or trouble sleeping. It can get overwhelming, especially with so much to juggle as a new parent.
3. Obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD)
Involves intrusive thoughts and repetitive behaviours. For some new mums, this might be tied to worries about the baby’s safety or health.
4. Birth trauma and post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD)
Some parents may experience PTSD after a traumatic birth experience. This can involve flashbacks, nightmares, and heightened anxiety around the child’s safety.
5. Postpartum psychosis
Though rare, postpartum psychosis involves symptoms like hallucinations, delusions, and extreme mood swings. It requires immediate medical attention.
Kate Borsato, psychotherapist and founder of The Perinatal Collective, says, "Pregnancy is a huge life shift, physically, emotionally, relationally. Feeling a range of emotions like worry, irritability, and overwhelm is normal, but when emotional distress becomes constant or interferes with daily life, it’s time to reach out for help."
She adds, "No one should have to prove they’re strong enough to do it alone. True strength is knowing when to let others in. The more we talk openly about the realities of motherhood—the good, the hard, the complicated—the more we chip away at the stigma. When we share the full picture, we create space for more mums to say, ‘me too,’ and that’s where real healing begins.”
But the reality is, around 70% of women will hide or downplay how bad things really feel.
These struggles often go unnoticed or unspoken, and NHS cautions, without the right support, they can have lasting effects on mum, baby and wider family.
Can partners experience mental health issues too?
Absolutely. Perinatal mental health struggles don’t just affect the birthing parent, they can also impact partners. Megan says, "Perinatal mental health problems can affect partners as well as the women.”
Partners may feel overwhelmed by the sudden shift in responsibilities, whether it’s extra housework, caring for other children, or adjusting to the reality of parenting versus expectations. Other common stressors include not feeling as supported or appreciated as they’d hoped, returning to work before they feel ready, financial pressures, changes in their relationship with their partner, and, of course, the lack of sleep.
Signs and symptoms to watch for
Recognising the signs of perinatal mental health problems early can make all the difference in getting the help and support you need. Here are some key signs to watch for:
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Persistent sadness or low mood: Feeling down, hopeless, or overwhelmed most of the time, even when you try to focus on the positive.
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Excessive worry or anxiety: Constantly feeling anxious, restless, or on edge, often without a clear reason.
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Difficulty bonding with the baby: Struggling to connect with your newborn or feeling emotionally distant.
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Withdrawing from social activities or support networks: Avoiding friends, family, or other parents, feeling like you don’t want to interact or be seen.
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Changes in appetite or sleep patterns: Eating too much or not enough, or experiencing disrupted sleep that makes you feel constantly exhausted.
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Thoughts of self-harm or harming the baby: If you have thoughts of hurting yourself or your baby, it’s crucial to seek professional support immediately.
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Postpartum anger: Experiencing sudden, intense bursts of anger or irritability, which can feel unmanageable or out of proportion to the situation.
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Feelings of guilt or inadequacy: Constantly feeling like you're not doing enough or you're failing as a parent, even when you're trying your best.
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Inability to enjoy things you once loved: Losing interest in activities you once found joyful, even simple things like hobbies, socialising, or self-care.
How can partners, family and friends help?
Supporting a loved one through perinatal mental health challenges requires both compassion and action. Kate says, "All perinatal mood disorders are treatable with the right support. Encouraging help, without judgment, is one of the most powerful things a partner can do."
She adds, "The best way to support a new mum isn’t just to hold the baby, it’s to take things off her plate so she can rest, heal, and, well... hold her own baby." This could involve handling household chores, ensuring meals are taken care of, or helping with childcare so the new parent can focus on their recovery.
Kate also emphasises that, "A simple, 'how are you really doing?' can open the door for honest conversations and support."
Dr. Neerja Chowdhary, psychiatrist and spokesperson for the World Health Organization, adds, “Supportive relationships with partners, family members, and friends can also help women manage or prevent stress."
"Mothers don’t need the encouragement to 'enjoy every moment.' They need to hear reassurance like, 'you’re doing an amazing job,' and 'I see how much you’re holding,' and 'this baby is really lucky to have you as a mum.' This is a time where she'll be questioning herself, so remind her that she's doing great," Kate says.
Coping with Perinatal Mental Health: Simple strategies for better days
Cut yourself some slack: Lowering expectations
Kate encourages new parents to ease up on themselves: "A major source of stress in motherhood is self-criticism from unrealistic expectations. I always tell parents to lower the bar during the perinatal period, even temporarily. You don’t have to do it all, and you don’t have to do it perfectly."
Simple self-care tips that actually help
Kate says that self-care doesn't need to be elaborate, "Managing stress doesn’t have to be big or fancy. A hot drink, a moment in the sun, music you love, or ten minutes away from the baby, these small things matter more than we realise." She adds, "Yes, a shower or a few moments alone won’t always feel like enough, but in these early days and months with a baby, every little bit counts."
Setting boundaries for your mental health
Kate also advises setting boundaries for your mental health, "If social media or certain people make you feel worse, it’s okay to protect your energy. Setting boundaries is part of protecting your mental health."
Finding your village: Building a support network
Surround yourself with understanding people, whether online or in person. Megan suggests, “Find local parent and baby groups, antenatal or postnatal classes, or online support through blogs and social media. Connecting with others who are going through the same thing can make a huge difference.”
You can also contact organisations like Home-Start or PaNDAS, or access online resources such as blogs, podcasts, or therapy. Peer support groups can also be incredibly helpful for connecting with others who've had similar experiences.
Mental health matters: Accessing support during pregnancy
Dr. Neerja emphasises the need for mental health support alongside maternal care: "Integrating mental health interventions into maternal and child health services is a vital way to improve women’s mental health outcomes. These services offer regular, long-term interaction, making mental health promotion, prevention, and treatment more accessible."
She further explains, “Pregnancy, childbirth, and early parenthood involve significant emotional and physical changes, which can affect mental health. It's crucial that women have access to mental health services, as well as physical care. Barriers like stigma or poor-quality services shouldn’t prevent women from getting the support they need."
What’s holding new mums back from asking for help? The pressure of society's expectations
Kate says, "There’s this expectation that motherhood should feel natural, that you should instinctively know what to do, and that struggling means you’re failing. But the truth is, it’s one of the biggest life transitions a person can experience, it’s a brand new role, and struggling is not a reflection of your ability as a parent, it’s a reflection of how much is being asked of you."
Many mums worry that admitting they’re struggling will lead to judgment, both from others and themselves.
“There’s a deep desire to feel like you’re handling it, like you’re good enough, and sometimes reaching out for help feels like admitting you’re not. But needing support doesn’t mean you’re failing, it means you’re human. A really brave human.”
Kate Borsato, psychotherapist and founder of The Perinatal Collective
It’s hard to say, "I’m not okay," when society tells us to push through, be strong, or just enjoy every moment.
When to reach out for help
It's never too early to ask for help if something doesn’t feel right. Megan advises, "If you begin experiencing unusual feelings, seek advice from your GP, midwife, or health visitor. There are specialist services available for urgent support, including perinatal mental health services and crisis teams."
For specialised care, there are services like Mother and Baby Units, where you can stay with your baby while receiving treatment.
As Kate advises, "Struggling in silence only makes things harder. Seeking help, without judgment, is one of the most powerful things a mother can do."
Perinatal mental health hotlines
Mind provides support for mental health issues, including those affecting mothers. Call 0208 215 2243, Monday to Friday, 9am to 5pm.
Samaritans offers 24/7 emotional support, Samaritans provide a confidential helpline for anyone in distress. Call 116 123 24 hours, daily.
MumsAid offers counselling services for mothers dealing with mental health challenges like postnatal depression. Call 07758 763908 or email info@mums-aid.org.
Action on Postpartum Psychosis provides dedicated support for women experiencing postpartum psychosis, a severe mental health condition. Call 020 33229900.
Mothers for Mothers provides emotional support for mothers suffering from postnatal depression and other related conditions. Call 01179 359366.
The Maternal Mental Health Alliance, Perinatal Mental Health Partnership, and Postpartum Support International are all excellent resources for supporting maternal mental health.
Perinatal Mental Health problems FAQs
If I had perinatal mental health problems with my last baby, could it happen again?
If you’ve been through it before, it’s totally normal to worry about it happening again.
Megan reassures us, “There is more risk of you becoming unwell again if you have experienced a mental health problem during or after a previous pregnancy, however, this doesn’t mean you definitely will. It’s important to communicate openly with your healthcare provider as soon as you become pregnant again.”
Talking to your doctor early on and making a plan can really help. You and your baby deserve the best care.
Is stress during pregnancy normal?
It’s normal to feel stressed, but if it’s affecting your ability to care for yourself or your baby, it’s time to ask for help. Dr. Neerja says, “While it’s normal to experience stress if you’ve recently had a baby or have a young child, it’s important for women to contact a health professional if they are concerned these feelings are impacting their ability to function or take care of themselves or their baby.”
How does pregnancy affect a woman’s mental health?
Pregnancy is a huge life change, and it doesn’t just affect your body, it messes with your emotions too. From hormones to the stress of preparing for baby, it can all feel overwhelming.
What’s the most common mental health problem during pregnancy and after birth?
Depression and anxiety are the most common, but they can look different for everyone. Megan says, “If your feelings begin to have a big impact on your everyday life, this could be a sign of a perinatal mental health problem.”
Could I harm my baby?
In some cases, those who are suffering from perinatal mental health problems may experience thoughts about harming their baby.
"This can be extremely frightening and disturbing," says Megan. "Having thoughts like this does not necessarily mean the actions will be carried out or that there is any intention of doing so."
"If you are experiencing thoughts like this it is important you speak to someone immediately. Whether it be a partner, friend, stranger or professional. It is important to speak up so support and treatments can be provided straight away."
About the expert
Megan Smith is a NHS Midwife and Antenatal Course Leader at Pregnancy to Parenthood. She has been a registered midwife since 2019 and has worked in all areas of midwifery including antenatal, birth, postnatal and community. Megan loves educating and empowering women and their families and believes it is important to have a well-informed and balanced knowledge and idea of what to expect in pregnancy, birth and the newborn stage to enable women to make decisions that are best suited to them and their family.
Dr. Neerja Chowdhary is a psychiatrist and technical officer at the World Health Organization (WHO), focusing on mental health care integration into maternal and child health services. She works on developing tools to help health workers provide quality mental health support.
Kate Borsato is a psychotherapist and the founder of The Perinatal Collective. She specializes in helping clients manage anxiety and OCD. Kate is passionate about supporting people in reconnecting with their joy and authentic self, even amid the busy, challenging days of parenting.
About the author
Anne Lora Scagliusi is a Senior Digital Writer at Mother & Baby. She is a Scotland-based journalist with over a decade of international writing experience, specialising in women’s health, maternal mental health, and wellness. Her work has been featured in Vanity Fair, Marie Claire, and Glamour and has appeared on several Vogue global editions. She is a mum to one very energetic bambino and splits her time between Italy and the UK.