McFly’s Harry Judd and author Izzy Judd talk soothers, storybooks and bedtime routines

We caught up with drummer of McFly, Harry Judd, and author of 'Mindfulness for Mums', Izzy Judd, about how they get their children, Lola, Kit and Lockie settled for bed.

Despite their busy lifestyles, and between touring and book launches, Harry Judd and Izzy Judd are parents first and foremost. With three children in the Judd household, a bedtime routine to establish some calm through the chaos is an important part of their day. Having partnered with MAM for their #Soothement campaign, the couple talked exclusively to Mother&Baby about all things parenting and getting the children settled for bed...

Tell us a bit about your parenting journey so far and how it's been raising your three amazing children?

Izzy: "So, Harry and I got married in 2012. And when we decided to start a family, it wasn't quite as straightforward. It's crazy how you spend all your teenage years being told how not to get pregnant and then when you want to get pregnant suddenly, it's the hardest thing.

But eventually, after fertility treatment, Lola came along and she's six years old now. Then, Kit came along very quickly afterwards, which was a bit of a surprise - he's nearly five years old. They're very different. Lola was quite an easy baby but I still found easing into motherhood hard."

Harry: "I was thinking 'what's everyone complaining about? this is easy!' Yeah, she sleeps! Then I'm almost pleased to add, that as much as we love our son Kit, he was a lot different to her. It was then that I was able to sympathise with other parents - it wasn't quite as straightforward."

Izzy: "We had two under two. And then it was two sets of nappies. Kit needed a lot more attention in many ways. I always hoped we would have another, but it took me a little bit of time to come around to having another one. Then, we just decided, why not, so we tried again. Lockie came along - he's now nine months old. He's a complete dream baby - I feel like this time, I've been able to enjoy it the most."

Having such a musical background, how important was it for you to establish their connection with music from an early age? Was it something that was a natural progression?

Harry: "Yeah, it was very natural because Izzy was brought up in a very musical family. She had three older brothers who played instruments, and her parents ran a music school. For us - we always had music on and the kids just always responded to it. We did music classes with them from when they were tiny babies.

**"**It was another break in the day. Often, around tea time, Izzy would get her violin out and put music on the speakers in the kitchen. The kids would have their little shakers, and it's now progressed into them enjoying playing instruments. It's never anything we were ever going to force upon them, but they both really enjoy it. They both pretty much love what we enjoy, which is music and the creative side of things.

**"**It certainly makes it easier, the fact that Kit loves to play the drums. I don't even have to tell him, you don't have to ask him to practice, he's always on his drum kit. And Lola enjoys the process of playing the violin with Mummy."

Izzy: "Harry and I have a different musical background in that I was classically trained, and Harry ended up in the pop industry. But I think what I've learned from having that musical background is learning, training, discipline and the ability to work in a team. I feel with music, it's also everything else that it gives you as well. And I want to give that to my children.

"It's interesting being a parent and understanding that what your interests might be, or what you hoped they might be interested in isn't necessarily what they're drawn to. Harry loves sport, whereas Kit tends to go to his drum kit."

Especially with being an author, how have you found that reading has helped with their development and the bonding between you as a family?

Izzy: "Reading is part of our routine, especially bedtime reading. What we've been talking about with MAM as well, is how do you soothe and settle your babies at bedtime? Reading is a really important part of that. Often the old classics, which I think was part of the research that MAM did about The Very Hungry Caterpillar, they found that for 9 in 10 parents, it's one of the top books for them to read to their children.

"As you talk about my books, I did Mindfulness for Mums, and sometimes as a parent, you think 'how can I bring mindfulness?', especially when reading a book is a time where you can be reading the same book night after night and you're not really reading it.

"You're thinking, 'what am I gonna get for tea?' or 'what's on my to-do list?' and you're sort of going through the motions of reading the book. In Mindfulness for Mums, I spoke about how to really try and engage in reading that story. Especially asking the children, 'is there something new on this page that we haven't seen before?' or 'Is there a picture that we haven't spotted?"

Harry: "It's part of the route bedtime routine, which we found works really well for us. And it works for our kids because they know what the steps are to bedtime. But I think when you're engaged with the reading, it's really good for their imagination, which is such an important part of their development. Yeah, for us, it's always been part of the routine. And getting our kids to bed is very important for us as parents so that we have our evening."

Izzy: "Lola reads a little bit, too, so we share the reading of the story. Reading has always been something we've done and something that we do now with Lockie. But, now, we can't always get away with skipping a few sentences of the book. We're like, 'ok, it's bedtime now,' and they're like 'you've missed a bit!"

Do you have a favourite book to read with the children?

Harry: "Anything by Tom Fletcher!"

Izzy: "Wherever You Are, My Love Will Find You, I just adore all of Nancy Tillman's books."

Harry: "They love One Snowy Night, that was one of their favourites from the Percy the Park Keeper collection."

Izzy: "Oi, Frog!, they love all of those, too. But then, Kit had a phase where he was obsessed with Harvey the Carpenter, he really latched onto this book at nursery. I had to try and hunt down an old copy."

Harry: "Ah that was a sweet one, Harvey the Carpenter. Wasn't Harvey a beaver or something? He had a toolshed full of tools, and Kit just loved looking at all the tools and things. Me and My Dad, remember that one?"

Izzy: "It's funny, isn't it? You remember those. They evoke such emotions. I've still got my copies of The Blue Balloon and Tanya the Ballerina with 'from Granny' written inside them."

Harry: "Mine is The Jolly Postman."

Izzy: "Now, Lola is going 'all of these books are too young for me'!"

Harry: "Lola wants chapter books now, yeah."

What does the bedtime routine look like in the Judd household?

Harry: "Tea, bath, story, bed."

Izzy: "There's tea, bath, story - then Daddy completely overexcites them, gets them all riled up and decides that he's gonna go downstairs!

"So actually this is where we became a part of MAM's #Soothement campaign because soothers for Lockie have really come to my rescue. Trying to settle two older children and a baby can be challenging, especially during that time of day after school when it's been a long day."

Harry: "And if I'm not there, as well."

Izzy: 'Yeah, and if Harry isn't there. Actually, I've used a soother more with Lockie than any of the others because it's just helped me get through the bedtime routine. If we don't have a bath, Lola is like 'Mummy, why haven't we had a bath tonight?' She very much feels the routine, and I guess we all feel the routine.

"I think as a mum, it's the time of day when my patience is the most thin. So, when we're in the bath I do some mindfulness. I'll get the bubbles and feel the bubbles against my skin because I feel like I need it, as well.

"And then, it's basically it's just trying to get them into bed! Kit is the one that sort of likes to jump in and out of bed a bit. Whereas Lockie and Lola quite like their sleep, I think."

There are a lot of misconceptions around using soothers. But in fact, how have you found using a soother has been positive for both you and the children?

Izzy: "Do you know what I think it is? I think that we're lucky, but we're also really unlucky as this generation because there is so much information out there. With that information comes sort of this overwhelm. Sometimes it's easy to lose track of your own instinct.

"With Lockie, it's used to soothe him, then he'll take it out on his own. You think, 'I'm going to have to get up in the night to put it back in,' but actually it's been a really natural progression using a soother. I've just found it so helpful and I wish that I hadn't been so worried to use them when I had Lola.

"We're still trying to navigate a lot of opinions, from older generations and their ideas about things, judgement from other people and all the other information on the internet. I think you've just got to trust your own instinct, you know your baby better than anybody."

Another of your tips was using baby massage oil and soothers to settle Lockie down. Is there a particular soother or massage oil that helps Lockie to relax?

Izzy: "Obviously, we love to use the MAM soothers!

"It's a fact that babies suck to soothe, whether that's on a soother or on their thumb. The thing about a soother, and what I particularly like about the MAM soother is the fact that orthodontists have been involved with the process. So, you feel you can trust MAM and you trust the soother.

"What I will say what I love about the MAM soother and the MAM bottles, actually, is that they're self-sterilising. It's so simple the way you can just sterilise without having to get the big sterilising machine. Also if you're travelling or out and about, they're easy to sterilise."

"For Lockie's massages, I use a brand called This Works. It's a lavender baby bubble bath and then I'll use a lotion. I did a course on baby massage when I had Lola and I've just remembered a lot of it from that. I'll always give them a little massage and then use a bit of the lotion to do my shoulders for a moment!

"I also have this lovely pillow spray that I'm using. I found bedtime difficult as a little girl. I wasn't very good at sleeping on my own. I suppose I've been quite into giving them ways to help them with sleep - getting them used to being confident sleepers. And routine is a massive part of that."

Do you have any parent essentials that have made parenthood easier?

Harry and Izzy: "The bouncer!"

Izzy: "We've needed that one, haven't we?"

Harry: "Blackout blinds is another one."

Izzy: "I also have a little bag on my buggy that's been really helpful. With Lockie, we didn't have a buggy at first. Then, we went to the charity shop and got the best buggy that we've ever had. I think that's the other thing, by the third you realise what you really need."

Harry: "Top tip for incoming parents - I know it's exciting, but you'd be amazed what you can find at your local charity shop."

Research from MAM has shown that only half of millennial parents know the words to “Twinkle Twinkle Little Star.” How important do you think it is to keep the tradition of lullabies going?

Harry: "It's a way of enjoying little moments with your children. And I think it's important for children to learn musical rhythms, it's good for their development. Without us, they always would sing along with them and just enjoyed that process. So I think it's a nice way of bonding and it's a nice way of helping them to develop. So yeah, I think if you can, then... And they're quite simple to learn, as well."

According to MAM research, these are the lullabies that young parents can recite the words to:

1- Twinkle Twinkle Little Star 55 per cent

2- Baa Baa Black Sheep 53 per cent

3- Row, Row, Row Your Boat 51 per cent

4- Humpty Dumpty 51 per cent

5- Jack & Jill 43 per cent

6- Rock a Bye Baby 43 per cent

7- You Are My Sunshine 38 per cent

8- Five Little Ducks 37 per cent

9- Five Little Monkeys 35 per cent

10- Wind the Bobbin Up 35 per cent

11- Little Bo Peep 34 per cent

12- Hush Little Baby 29 per cent

13- Somewhere Over the Rainbow 29 per cent

14- Frère Jacques 28 per cent

Izzy: "I used to play music to them when I was pregnant. There were these BellyBuds that you could put on your tummy and they can hear the music. To this day, the song that I played Lola will still soothe her. A lullaby is there for a reason, I suppose, it does help. There must be, I'm sure, lots of scientific research about the brain and what music does in that."

Harry and Izzy for MAM's #Soothement campaign